Jul 26th, 2019 by Karin Sieger | Psychotherapist | Writer
Coping with the death of a soul mate can be hard, whatever the nature and length of the relationship. Because it can feel like something inside of us has died alongside the other. Because death leaves us craving.
As part of my podcast series "Soul Cravings" I am privileged to share with you my conversation with Maryanne Pope, who knows all about it. She was widowed aged 32, 4 years into the marriage with her soul mate John. They had been together for 12 years.
Now, in 2019, this is 19 years ago. During this time Maryanne finally wrote a book she had discussed with John many times. But they were not to know it would be about "A widow's awakening". She is Chair of the John Petropoulos Memorial Fundand also set up her own business Pink Gazelle Productions.
Our conversation on a video link between London (UK) and Vancouver Island (Canada), where Maryanne lived with her dog Sadie, is relaxed, down-to-earth, yet deep and searching.
We start off by Maryanne telling us about how her husband died; because as you will hear, this has shaped her and how she has chosen to deal with her grief.
Then we cover many topics of relevance to anyone who has experience loss, especially that of a soul mate, such as:
- Accepting the unacceptable: When death was preventable.
- "The honour of walking a soul mate to their death" - spending final hours together, even if the other is legally declared brain-dead.
- Finding our own path towards acceptance and doing 'something that feels right amongst so much wrong'.
- What is it like to be a young widow? Losing the love of your life, your soul mate?
- Coping with death before having children?
- What if we parted on an argument, not realising this is the last time you speak with each other?
- Living with daily life in a way that is not always connected to mourning.
- How to honour the memory of a soul mate without getting stuck in the past.
- When we reach the point of wanting to put the lid on talking about our loss and grief.
- Keeping the relationship with the one who has died alive, while craving for love and companionship.
- Moving out of the home we have shared with a soul mate who has died.
- How pets can 'save us' and can become the family we have lost.
- To become happy again and to find purpose and creativity (eg through writing).
- To fall in love again or to remain single?
- Caring for your mental health after you have experienced traumatic episodes like death.
Her book "A widow's awakening" is on Amazon HERE
This episode of Soul Cravings is dedicated to Maryanne's dog, Sadie, whom you can hear during the recording. Unknown to us then Sadie died the next day. Maryanne has written a dedication which I share with you at the end of the recording.
Karin Sieger is a UK-based registered and accredited psychotherapist and writer, who offers support locally and globally. Visit KarinSieger.com.
Kindly note: This podcast is not a substitute for counselling, therapy or any medical assistance you may require. If in doubt, reach out to your medical practitioner.